Body Language

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Top Ten Body Language Tips - By Robert Phipps


Top Ten Tips:

Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of dealing with
others, especially people we've just met. Maintaining good eye contact
shows respect and interest in what they have to say. Here in the UK we
tend to keep eye contact around 60-70% of the time. (However, there are
wide cultural differences, so be careful in other countries) By doing
this you won't make the other people feel self conscious, like they've
got a bit of vegetable stuck between their teeth or a dew drop hanging
from the nose. . Instead, it will give them a feeling of comfort and
genuine warmth in your company, any more eye contact than this and you
can be too intense, any less and you give off a signal that you are
lacking interest in them or their conversation.

Posture is the next thing to master, get your posture right and you'll
automatically start feeling better, as it makes you feel good almost
instantly. Next time you notice you're feeling a bit down, take a look
at how your standing or sitting. Chances are you'll be slouched over
with your shoulders drooping down and inward. This collapses the chest
and inhibits good breathing, which in turn can help make you feel
nervous or uncomfortable.

Head position is a great one to play around with, with yourself and
others. When you want to feel confident and self assured keep your head
level both horizontally and vertically. You can also use this straight
head position when you want to be authoritative and what you're saying
to be taken seriously. Conversely, when you want to be friendly and in
the listening, receptive mode, tilt your head just a little to one side
or other. You can shift the tilt from left to right at different points
in the conversation.

Arms give away the clues as to how open and receptive we are to
everyone we meet and interact with, so keep your arms out to the side
of your body or behind your back. This shows you are not scared to take
on whatever comes your way and you meet things "full frontal". In
general terms the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend
to use your arms with big movements. The quieter you are the less you
move your arms away from your body. So, try to strike a natural balance
and keep your arm movements midway. When you want to come across in the
best possible light, crossing the arms is a no, no in front of others.
Obviously if someone says something that gets your goat, then by all
means show your disapproval by crossing them !

Legs are the furthest point away from the brain, consequently they're
the hardest bits of our bodies to consciously control. They tend move
around a lot more than normal when we are nervous, stressed or being
deceptive. So best to keep them as still as possible in most
situations, especially at interviews or work meetings. Be careful too
in the way you cross your legs. Do you cross at the knees, ankles or
bring your leg up to rest on the knee of the other? This is more a
question of comfort than anything else. Just be aware that the last
position mentioned is known as the "Figure Four" and is generally
perceived as the most defensive leg cross, especially if it happens as
someone tells a you something that might be of a slightly dubious
nature, or moments after. (As always, look for a sequence)

Angle of the body in relation to others gives an indication of our
attitudes and feelings towards them. We angle toward people we find
attractive, friendly and interesting and angle ourselves away from
those we don't, it's that simple! Angles includes leaning in or away
from people, as we often just tilt from the pelvis and lean sideways to
someone to share a bit of conversation. For example, we are not in
complete control of our angle at the cinema because of the seating nor
at a concert when we stand shoulder to shoulder and are packed in like
sardines. In these situations we tend to lean over towards the other
person.

Hand gestures are so numerous it's hard to give a brief guide but here
goes. Palms slightly up and outward is seen as open and friendly. Palm
down gestures are generally seen as dominant, emphasizing and possibly
aggressive, especially when there is no movement or bending between the
wrist and the forearm. This palm up, palm down is very important when
it comes to handshaking and where appropriate we suggest you always
offer a handshake upright and vertical, which should convey equality.

Distance from others is crucial if you want to give off the right
signals. Stand too close and you'll be marked as "Pushy" or "In your
face". Stand or sit too far away and you'll be "Keeping your distance"
or "Stand offish". Neither are what we want, so observe if in a group
situation how close are all the other people to each other. Also notice
if you move closer to someone and they back away, you're probably just
a tiny bit too much in their personal space, their comfort zone.
"You've overstepped the mark" and should pull back a little.

Ears, yes your ears play a vital role in communication with others,
even though general terms most people can't move them much, if at all.
However, you've got two ears and only one mouth, so try to use them in
that order. If you listen twice as much as you talk you come across as
a good communicator who knows how to strike up a balanced a
conversation without being me, me, me or the wallflower.

Mouth movements can give away all sorts of clues. We purse our lips and
sometimes twist them to the side when we're thinking. Another occasion
we might use this movement is to hold back an angry comment we don't
wish to reveal. Nevertheless, it will probably be spotted by other
people and although they may not know the comment, they will get a
feeling you were not to pleased. There are also different types of
smiles and each gives off a corresponding feeling to its recipient
which we'll cover next time.

More info at Main or Robert Phipps


Robert Phipps Management Consultant & Body Language Specialist with more than 15yrs experience.

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18ways to improve your body language

1.Don’t cross your arms or legs

2. Have eye contact, but don’t stare

3. Don’t be afraid to take up some space

4. Relax your shoulders

5. Nod when they are talking

6. Don’t slouch, sit up straight

7. Lean, but not too much –

8. Smile and laugh

9. Don’t touch your face

10. Keep you head up.

11. Slow down a bit

12. Don’t fidget

13. Use your hands more confidently

14. Lower your drink

15. Realize where you spine ends

16. Don’t stand too close

17. Mirror

18. Keep a good attitude

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وانقل اليكم موضوعا مشابها باللغة العربية

لغة الجسد

1- العين : تمنحك واحدا من أكبر مفاتيح الشخصية التي تدلك بشكل حقيقي على
ما يدور في عقل من أمامك ، ستعرف من خلال عينيه ما يفكر فيه حقيقة ، فإذا
اتسع بؤبؤ العين وبدا للعيان فإن ذلك دليل على أنه سمع منك توا شيئا أسعده
، أما إذا ضاق بؤبؤ العين فالعكس هو الذي حدث ،
وإذا ضاقت عيناه ربما يدل على أنك حدثته بشئ لا يصدقه .

2- الحواجب : إذا رفع المرء حاجبا واحدا فإن ذلك يدل على أنك قلت له شيئا
إما أنه لا يصدقه أو يراه مستحيلا ، أما رفع كلا الحاجبين فإن ذلك يدل على
المفاجأة .

3- الأنف والأذنان : فإذا حك أنفه أو مرر يديه على أذنيه ساحبا إياهما
بينما يقول لك إنه يفهم ما تريده فهذا يعني أنه متحير بخصوص ما تقوله ومن
المحتمل انه لا يعلم مطلقا ما تريد منه أن يفعله .

4- جبين الشخص : فإذا قطب جبينه وطأطأ رأسه للأرض في عبوس فإن ذلك يعني
أنه متحير أو مرتبك أو أنه لا يحب سماع ما قلته توا ، أما إذا قطب جبينه
ورفعه إلى أعلى فإن ذلك يدل على دهشته لما سمعه منك .

5- الأكتاف : فعندما يهز الشخص كتفه فيعني انه لا يبالي بما تقول .

6- الأصابع : نقر الشخص بأصابعه على ذراع المقعد أو على المكتب يشير إلى العصبية أو عدم الصبر

7- وعندما يربت الشخص بذراعيه على صدره : فهذا يعني أن هذا الشخص يحاول

عزل نفسه عن الآخرين أو يدل على أنه خائف بالفعل منك .

هذه الإشارات السبع تعطيك فكرة عن لغة الجسد ككل وكيف يمكن استخدامها ليس فقط في إبراز

قوة شخصيتك ولكن التعرف فيما يفكر الآخرون بالرغم من محاولاتهم إخفاء ذلك .

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واليكم مجموعة من اشهر الكتب التي تتناول هذا الموضوع باللغة الانجليزية


Philip Redhead - How To Read Body Language


Body Language Secrets


Psychology Master Body Language


How To Read Others Thoughts By Their Gestures

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و مجموعة كتب تتناول نفس الموضوع ولكن باللغة العربية


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لغة_الجسد


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دورة لغة الجسد

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انصح بقراءة الكتاب التالي :
Body Language How To Read Others Thoughts By Their Gestures

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